"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." ~Genesis 2:2-3
Something has been on my mind off and on today so I thought I would try to puts my thoughts down here. I want to first of all state clearly that I do not and can not speak with any real authority on this since I myself am not a mother but I believe this applies to all of us no matter what our position in life. I was reading through statuses of my fb friends today and was struck by how "competitive" some mothers are. This might sound like an odd choice of words. But it seems every time at this year some are "swearing off" fb because it is such a waste of time. Instantly others chime in with "me too" ..."what a time sucker"...one even commented that she would be gone were it not for "forced" down time with nursing. Another friend's status was that she was resolving to be more positive with her statuses especially those pertaining to her kids as it was "brought to her attention" that she was being too negative. I do not see the person as being negative, simply as being "real" with her frustrations in mothering and posting what others certainly think, but may not say. When I have seen statuses of mothers actually taking the time to sleep in , other mothers chime in with " I thought such and such a time was sleeping in!". Why is there a need to be so competitive not only with mothering but with life in general? I personally am not ashamed of my time on fb and would go so far as saying I am very thankful for fb. As I said before I live alone, with no means of transportation. Many days, other than a phone call, it is my only means of connecting with other people. I have been able to reconnect with many dear friends on fb and am able to keep up with their lives as a result of it. I am also able to keep in better contact with family that is far away. While I believe that some competition is good, there is a time and a place for it. If I were a mother and having struggles I would not want to be judged for that. Why in our society are we ashamed of "down time" and always feel we need be productive at all times. God himself calls for us to rest and even created a whole day that is to be dedicated to that. So why do we as humans see it as so wrong? Down time should not be "forced". Rest is a gift offered by God, as much as anything else, and we should not be made to feel guilty for it, especially someone as devoted and hard working as mothers.
You don't know the half of it when it comes to competition between moms. It starts at the very beginning with "How many hours does your baby sleep at night?" and "My child's in the 800th percentile in brain circumference which means he's a genius!" and progresses through when your child learns to walk, talk and read, the number of activities in which they participate and on and on and on...Mommy Wars are such a sad thing. The sadder part is how easy it is to get pulled into them. I've always been competitive; it's a trait I've been trying to put to death the past few years.
ReplyDeleteMy struggle with Facebook is that I'm not a very balanced person. I've spent to many hours neglecting things that really shouldn't be neglected while keeping up on my friends' updates. Every once in a while I need to step away in order to regain the balance and remember my priorities. I love the relational aspect of FB, and I agree that there are so many benefits to it. But my kids and my house and my husband need me to focus on them.
Another thought on the Sabbath which a friend of mine shared years ago, that has stuck with me is that the flip side to the day of Sabbath rest is the working for the other 6 days. God had finished His work, and He rested. His is the example to follow. Too many times I steal those moments of rest when I haven't done the work that needed to be done. I'm trying to improve in working diligently first, and then playing/resting, second.
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